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I want my daughters to know that they have the right to say STOP and NOT whenever they feel the measure has passed

I want my daughters to know that they have the right to say STOP and NOT whenever they feel the measure has passed

I am a mother of girls and I chose to start the article with this statement because I want to make it clear to everyone why I am so outspoken against aggressive men, but also against men who believe that women are harassed by their fault.

Let's face it, I'm not a radical feminist. I have a husband whom I love and respect and with whom I have formed a family for many years. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't meet him.

I have nothing against men and, because I am an empathetic person, I often try to look at life through their eyes and understand that they also face all kinds of unpleasant situations that I often do not know how to handle. .

Who's to blame?

With the extent of the story of the Hollywood producer, who has used his position to intimidate and get sexual favors from young and beautiful actresses, the discussions around me have become increasingly concentrated. on this subject.

Obviously the camps are divided and there are people who say that it is ultimately the fault of the women because they have silenced and accepted his advances to obtain roles and have a successful career.

And I think to a very small extent they are right.

I write rarely, rarely at all, but this article was requested in writing and I write it for them, for our daughters.

These Hollywood actresses who have now revealed what happened to them many years ago, when they were young and without influence, did not know how to defend themselves, did not know that they had the power to say NO sharp and clear and did not know that it is good to seek the help of the authorities.

These Hollywood actresses were scared. Fear of stigmatization. They fear that they will not succeed in their career because the man who was harassing them was influential and seemed to have the power to decide their fate.

These Hollywood actresses have grown up with the mentality that this is the way it works, so it is done in their industry and they cannot change anything.

What my daughters want me to know

I would like them, my daughters, to know that no one can tell them or show that they have no value. I want to know that they have the right to say "Stop" and "No" whenever they feel the measure has passed. I want to know that their power is really theirs and I want to know that people are equal regardless of gender. I want to know that physical force can be easily overcome by the force of the mind.

But I want something more for them!

I want that when they are some beautiful young women there are no more men who think they can afford anything, they can do anything, they can treat women the way they want. I wish there were no more men who would find it normal to pinch a beautiful woman on the street. I wish there were no more men to say, "If you sleep with me I will make you famous". I wish there were no situations that would generate reactions like #metoo.

I know I am talking about ideal things, I know that it is almost impossible to change a mentality created in hundreds of years, overnight. Somehow, I think, after all, it's not entirely their fault, the men. They grew up hearing things like "You can't complain that you're a big boy!" Or "You cry like a little girl" and reach adulthood to believe that women are weak and strong men.

And because I know things won't change the way I want them to, I'll be careful to teach my daughters to defend themselves, to say NO and not be afraid. And I'll teach them something more. I will teach them that a woman with a high skirt will always run faster than a man with his pants on.