Before becoming a mother, the idea of disciplining children seemed quite simple. The concept is part of the common sense logic. Since you set some limits from the beginning, you are consistent and you act firmly, responding at the same time with affection, the children will learn to correct their behavior. But as you gain experience as a parent, you begin to realize that traditional methods of education, including the time-out strategy, do not work with every child, every time.
Thinking outside the patterns, combined with the application of new and creative solutions can improve the behavior of the little ones. Here are some ideas:
1. Redemption of objects
Did your child ignore the request to steal his toys from the floor in half an hour? You can confiscate them, telling them that they can redeem them for the amount of 2 lei. Thus, the farmer will be forced to use the pocket money or the savings from the piggy bank to recover his toys. In case the child is too young and does not receive pocket money, you can give him a domestic task appropriate to his age to allow him to redeem his confiscated items.
2. Repetition, the mother of the teacher
When the child does not perform his or her tasks at the level of the standards imposed by the parents, you can ask him to practice the same thing several times, until he becomes an expert.
3. The sweet meats
When you have more children, they will inevitably end up arguing with each other to wonder what. Have them fight each other, instead of arguing. They will laugh and forget the reason for the deal.
4. The team spirit
The brothers who fight each other can be put to work in the team, to complete a certain project or a household task. By the end of the day, they will learn to collaborate.
5. Open door policy
If the teenager slams the bedroom door when he is angry, deprive him for a week of the privilege of privacy, removing the door from his hinges.
If the little ones systematically throw their clothes all over the corner of the room, gather them in a bag and donate them. If the little ones decide that they don't want to donate them yet, then they will have to pay you how much it would cost them to buy the clothes from a thrift store.
7. Safety first of all
It is not safe to drive when the car occupants yell and run wild. If the children are too agitated, pull the car to the right and quietly wait for it to calm down.
8. Preparing time
If the little one loses the time when you have to go somewhere and make all the family members delay, have him sit on the chair when you arrive at the destination as many minutes as it made you late. It may sound harsh, but only in this way will it teach you to respect the time of others.
9. The importance of sleep
If the child has an inappropriate attitude and you think it is because he does not sleep enough, move him to bed 5 minutes earlier, each time you need to remind him that he needs to improve his behavior.
10. The child's choices
When the child becomes disobedient and needs to resort to various punishments, give him the opportunity to choose the method by which he can recover. This approach gives the child control over his own fate and teaches him to think about the consequences of his future actions. In addition, assuming the consequence will be easier to bear.
11. The "right" position
Your bowler is still leaning over the chair during dinner, ignoring your request to stop? Just take his seat and let him eat.
12. The importance of respect
When the brothers argue with each other and show disrespect for one another, have them wash their feet with each other.
It is true that you need a lot of patience, a developed sense of humor and a high level of creativity to implement what specialists call "the art of creative consequences" in the process of disciplining children. They need to understand that any action has consequences, and if those consequences are unpleasant, then they must improve their behavior. Only then will you get lasting results as a parent.
Discipline "the jar"
Label jars with different names, to distribute the tasks in the family, but also to determine the consequences resulting from the non-observance of the duties and the methods of dispute resolution. Here are some ideas you can customize, depending on your family's needs:
• The jar with tasks - Fill the container with the tickets to pass different tasks and ask the children to choose one of them, as a consequence in case of failure to fulfill the duties. Do not use the word punishment to avoid negative charges.
• The jar of mercy - Put in the jar the tickets with different consequences resulting from the violation of the rules or the promises. Write "pity" on some of them. The child will understand that you will forgive him for inappropriate behavior.
• The glass ball jar - Give a glass ball for every good deed of the child. At 10 balls won, let him choose a fun reward.
• The ransom ball jar - Move one glass ball each time the child makes a fool. For each removed ball, reduce the fun time by 5 minutes. The child can redeem his ball by doing a good deed.
• The friendship jar - Here you can put ideas to help family members understand each other better, such as "Hug your brother" or "Jump on the trampoline for 5 minutes". Children must choose a ticket from this jar whenever they are asked.
The benefits of natural consequences
A natural consequence is something that happens as a result of a certain behavior or choice. Parents can let their children experience the natural consequences of their own choices, without "saving" them from the situation, thus allowing them to learn from their own mistakes. The natural consequences help children take responsibility for their actions and gain lasting benefits.
This style of discipline takes place in a calm environment and helps children to internalize rules and moral concepts. At the same time, it prepares children for adulthood, stimulating them to meditate on the potential consequences of certain choices.
Tags Discipline of children Disciplinary methods of children Education of children Behavior of children