Losing a child or pregnancy is one of the most dramatic experiences a woman can go through in her life. Spontaneous abortion triggers an avalanche of overwhelming emotions, from fear, worry and sadness, to anger, denial and a huge sense of guilt. Many women are crushed by questions like "why did this happen to me?" or "what did I do wrong?".
Besides the emotional aspects, a spontaneous abortion also involves a physical trauma. In extreme cases, complications such as heavy bleeding or severe infections may occur. Here are some ways you can support and encourage a mother who is going through this difficult test!
Give it time to heal
A woman has a hard time recovering from one miscarriage. Most of the time, emotional trauma heals harder than physical trauma. Doctors are best able to provide recommendations to help women recover physically, but soul mourning cannot be cured with medication. Each mother perceives differently what happens to her after a pregnancy loss, and her family and friends must give her all the time she needs to process the emotions that overwhelm her.
In addition to depressive and anxious reactions, physical pain can also generate reactions on an organic and emotional level. These include lack of appetite, sleep disturbances, restlessness, low energy, panic attacks, persistent fears, nervousness and nightmares. Communication plays an important role in the healing process, but the family must understand that a woman may feel the need to be alone at such times.
Be near her and listen to her
As a relative or family friend, it will be difficult for you to find the right words. Sometimes you just don't know what to say or how to help. The wisest thing you can do is listen to it before you ask. Refrain from undermining their experience, criticizing or judging. Do not try to give her advice, solve the problem as you think it is good or seek rational explanations for the cause of miscarriage. And this is because there are no answers to the questions he asks after losing a child. What you need to understand is that you cannot solve the problem, even if your intentions are noble.
Active listening, eye contact, hugs, holding hands or giving a handkerchief when crying matters more than you can imagine. If the woman feels the need to open her soul, let her unload emotionally, smiling when appropriate.
A woman suffering from a miscarriage she should be encouraged to talk about the feelings she is trying to make, so that those around her can understand what she is going through. Confessing your emotions will help you give her the best support she needs. But remember: at times, the most useful thing you can say is that you do not know what to say.
Help her honor the memory of the lost child
Losing a pregnancy has the same devastating emotional impact as a loved one's death. By organizing a commemoration ceremony, you can help the grieving couple heal faster. At the same time, honoring the memory of the lost child helps validate feelings.
The ceremony should not be a public one. You can organize a small meal, you can accompany your mother to the church to light a candle and say a prayer or you can create small art objects that reflect your compassion. A painting, a poem, a goodbye letter or a song can help the bereaved family feel supported and understood. In some cultures, the ritual of planting a flower or a tree is practiced to honor a life interrupted before birth.
Help her with homework
The sadness and physical pain a woman experiences after one miscarriage they are exhausting and can cause a temporary loss of interest in daily responsibilities. Offer to help her as you can, either with cooking or cleaning or with the care of your pets.
A mother needs time to mourn her lost child and to recover physically. You can't put it on her skin, no matter how hard you try. However, you can help her by being with her, even when you have nothing to say. However, counseling cannot relieve his pain. Instead, the fact that you take her in your arms and let her cry on your shoulder, can help her feel loved, supported and understood.
Tags Abortion pregnancy loss Pregnancy abortion Spontaneous abortion