Your family grows up with a new member, news that you and your partner will enjoy. But on him, the first born, the center of your Universe, the one who receives all the attention, this news might disturb him. What will happen to the role of older brother? Do you think he won't receive the same attention from his parents? How do you prepare the big kid for this little revolution?
How you will give him the big news depends on the age and temperament of your little one. When you want to announce to the child that he is going to have a brother or sister, you have to consider the following things!
When is it good to give him the news?
The news of a new family member coming into the world should not be shared too early, but not too late with the older brother, if he is at an age when he understands what is going on.
It is not advisable to tell them from the first signs of pregnancy. It would be ideal to wait until the first ultrasound and show him the first image with his brother or sister.
Do not wait until the last months of pregnancy, because it may be too little time to get used to the news, will be taken by surprise baby. It is important that when you decide to tell the child that he will have a new play partner, to give him the news on a positive note. Both you and your partner must be smiling. At the same time, do not forget to reassure him of all the love you carry, the fact that nothing will change in your parent-child relationship. Tell her that the love a parent carries for her child is infinite and cannot be taken by anyone.
How do you tell the child that you are pregnant, depending on your age
• a child under 18 months: nothing you say will make him understand better that he will have a brother or sister than when the baby arrives home. For children of this age there is not much need for an announcement, they will be put directly in front of the fact, but you can talk to them in advance, to know that soon a small baby will arrive in the family;
• a child aged 2 years: a child around the age of 2 years will not quite understand that in his mother's belly there is a baby that develops and will be born soon. But it is important to talk to her about the pregnancy as soon as you begin to have evidence to show it: her tummy, an ultrasound with his brother, because that will make sense to him, he will understand what is happening.
If you feel bad, you have nausea, you are very tired and you still do not want to tell her about the pregnancy, but he asks you what is with you, just tell him you do not feel well. Do not attribute the negative symptoms to the pregnancy, because it is possible that the little boy then blames his brother for not playing with him, that you are not in a good mood.
When you are ready to give her the news, choose a moment when your baby is relaxed and answer all the questions she asks. Ideally, the father should be present at the discussion.
• a child of 3-4 years: when you have a child who goes to kindergarten, he knows how to communicate and understand what is going on around him, he waits until the first trimester of his pregnancy to pass the news, because this is the period when the risk of miscarriage decreases greatly. If you tell her too early that you are pregnant, you risk creating a painful situation if, for various reasons, you will lose your pregnancy.
It is also a good idea to wait until the pregnancy becomes visible. Seeing your tummy, it will be easier for the little boy to imagine that there is a "little house" for his future brother. Once you share the news with the child, it is important to give the big news to the other family members, because a child will not keep such a secret. Also, don't make the mistake of telling family members before you tell your eldest child about your pregnancy. It would not be good for him to find out by accident, from someone else, that mom and dad make him a brother because he might feel betrayed.
• a child over 4 years: to children past 4 years of age it is good to tell them about the pregnancy when you grow your belly or after having an ultrasound. Arm yourself with great patience and answer all the questions about his brother or sister, because he may have a lot. You will be curious about many aspects, and you and your husband will need to know how to answer them all.
Jealousy, a normal reaction
If in case you have a child less than 2 years of age the reactions of jealousy are less likely, in the case of those of this age there are high chances to appear. Don't worry too much, because jealousy is a natural reaction when the only child in the family finds out about the arrival of a brother in the world. You must explain to him that he will continue to have all your affection, love, attention and support. Usually, this jealousy will naturally disappear, especially after you bring the baby home and your older brother will see that you pay attention to it. However, he will also want to help you with the baby and you will have to give him a small task, to feel important. If your older brother is already 6-7 years old and expresses his wish to help you with the boy, do not refuse this. Thus, the first connections between them begin to be created.
If, however, you notice that the feelings of jealousy do not go away, that the older brother closes in on him, that he becomes more irritable or mournful, you can take some measures. Try not to feed the baby around him and not just feed the little one when you are all together. Emphasizes the advantages he has, compared to those of the baby.
Another strategy you can approach is to give him more privileges, like his older brother: let him stay longer at cartoons on the weekend or read a story one evening before bedtime. your husband will stay with the baby.
Tags Second task Announcement announces Pregnancy baby brother task