It is a known thing, we are the sum of all things lived, felt and heard. All the experiences, all the baggage of childhood and adolescence determine the way we will be as adults. The wounds of childhood heal the hardest and they put the most impact on the adult of tomorrow. Do you know how to help your child grow into a balanced adult, confident in his or her own strengths and with less emotional trauma to heal?
What can you do to keep your child from the traumas of childhood?
Emotional wounds are the painful experiences of childhood. These contribute to the formation of the personality of an adult, influencing his way of being and how he reacts to different situations.
Fear of abandonment, mistrust, humiliation, betrayal, injustice, are just a few of the emotional wounds a child can have in childhood and will follow him for the rest of his life. Your responsibility as a parent is huge. Choosing to be a parent means understanding that you must provide the child with all the conditions necessary for his or her development. This is not a sacrifice on your part, but a natural thing that you choose to do when you bring the child into the world. Access to education, medical care, food, clothing, a roof over your head, are your basic responsibilities, but it is very important what you offer them.
The way you talk to the child, the way you treat him in certain situations, put his mark on his personality. If it is constantly criticized, if all its flaws or failures are highlighted, all you will do is grow an anxious man, not confident in his own strength and ready for failure, because you have always told him that he is not to be able to do anything good, to complete a project, to understand what is being transmitted to you, to obey your wishes and to meet your expectations. If instead you give him wings to act according to his wishes in certain situations, if you guide him in making the right decisions, if you know how to praise his initiatives and successes, to respect him and to love him for what is not for what you- you would like it to be, it will grow in the spirit of self-love and acceptance, the esteem for your own person will be high, it will not seek the approval of those around you at all but become your own master.
5 of the most common injuries acquired since childhood
Fear of abandonment
It is unfair for a child to live forever in fear of being left alone, deprived of the protection of loved ones in a foreign environment. The child who has felt something like this in their childhood will become an adult who will abandon their partners so as not to give them the opportunity to do so before, they will not succeed in completing the projects in which they are involved, they will reject any physical contact and they will hardly cure their fear of loneliness.
Fear of rejection
The pain caused by the parents who rejected their child will prevent the adult tomorrow from developing his / her self-esteem and love. He will feel that he is not worthy of affection and appreciation and will isolate himself from others.
Humility comes after constant criticism and disapproval in childhood. The child who becomes an adult will be dependent on the approval of others, will have a low self-esteem and will not trust his own strengths. He will hardly understand his own needs and desires.
Mistrust of others
When those around the children constantly break their promises, the child develops distrust towards other people, feels betrayed and develops many negative feelings that will affect his whole life. At maturity these children will become perfectionists, fixists and obsessed with control, they will hardly learn to cultivate tolerance and patience.
The child who grew up in a hostile environment with authoritarian and cold parents will fully feel this feeling and will turn into an adult obsessed with perfection, eager for power, and suspicious of any affectionate start from others. In order to overcome the traumas of childhood you will have to learn to trust the people around you and be more flexible.
The child has a very fragile psychic, and his existence can be disturbed by the most banal aspects. He feels at great intensity all that he lives and does not always know how to filter what is happening to him. At an early age, he did not possess the skills necessary to survive in a harmful environment. A parent who chooses to abuse their child, whether we are talking about emotional, mental or physical abuse, is a being who compulsively feels the need to hurt him just because he can, which spills his frustration on the child to feel important. and powerful. It is true that before we are parents we are human, that we are subject to mistakes, but if a parent constantly does this it is a choice and not just a mistake.
Before demanding respect from the child, learn to respect him and especially show him. It doesn't matter the age, but the fact that each person is built differently and reacts differently. The child is his own person, it does not belong to you to return it to your liking, to live through it the different experiences that you were deprived of, or to achieve certain goals that you could not reach. So do not put him around the corner and not make him feel guilty if he does not want to eat at the time you want, if he does not want to wear jeans chosen by you, if he does not want to practice the sport suggested by you, or take the courses the faculty of your choice.
It is not easy to be a parent and we do not always manage to maintain a balance between theory and practice. But as long as we realize that being a parent is not an obligation or a sacrifice but a choice, and that once done we must assume it, the most important step is taken, it starts from a healthy premise in the parent-child relationship. . If you accept the child's own limitations and desires without always imposing his style on him, if you have realistic expectations of them, and if you try to encourage him to live his own experiences even if there is the possibility to "head over the threshold" "Then you have every chance to raise a child who will become a balanced adult.
Tags Emotional development of children Emotions of children